Conflict Resolution Tips

Steps to Resolve Conflict with Schools
Many issues can be resolved by following the steps listed below. Try the first step and if you are not satisfied, try as many more steps as you need. If you need help along the way, contact the Office of the Education Ombudsman.

Speak to the school staff member you are in conflict with. If you are uncomfortable alone or if speaking up is not part of your culture, you may bring an advocate or a family member. If English is not your first language, request that the school provide an interpreter.
Speak with that school staff member’s supervisor or the school principal.
Speak with the principal’s supervisor at the school district main office. In a small district, the Principal may report to the Superintendent. In a large school district, the supervisor might be the Assistant Superintendent, the Education Director, Chief of Staff, or Chief Academic Officer.
Speak directly with the Superintendent, the top employee in the school district, if you have not already done so.
If the problem is with the system as a whole, you can also speak with the School Board member who represents your neighborhood. Your School Board members are elected officials, and together they hire and oversee the Superintendent.
Parents of students in special education and bilingual programs should follow complaint procedures set by federal law, which districts are required to explain.

Each time you decide to take the question to a new level, let the last person know, and keep the discussion open to find ways to create a solution. If none of this works, contact the Office of the Education Ombudsman.

How to Complain so People Will Listen

Go to the person directly. Begin by talking with the person you disagree with.
Be organized. Prepare to discuss the problem by making a list of questions or points to bring up. Know what is most important and keep the conversation on track.
Stay calm. Take a deep breath. Focus on the problem, not the person. Talk about facts and be clear. Don not attack.
Be positive. Even if you are not satisfied with the situation, let people know you appreciate their work to resolve the problem.
See the other side. Try to understand the other person’s view of the situation and solutions they might propose. Ask questions about anything that is unclear.
Use the right language. Say “I believe,” “I feel,” or “We can” rather than “You should.” Try “I understand that money is limited ...” or “I know that you have a lot of priorities to balance ...” Use the word “and” instead of “but.”
Stay flexible. Recognize that problems can be resolved in more than one way. Be open to creative solutions.
Keep records. Save copies of letters, completed forms, and other written materials. Keep dated notes about who you talked to, what was said, and the results of that communication.